Eclectopia’s Weblog

an outlet for my soul

Always Remember Me December 14, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — eclectopia @ 4:48 am
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I’m going to say today was a good day. I might even stretch that, and say today was great, and it took no extra effort for it to be so. Somehow my easy Sunday mood stretched throughout the whole day, and as a result, the children were more agreeable, and hubby and I had something called ‘conversation.’ Amazing.

What helped, I think, is that my stress level has reduced since completing my course work for this semester. Of course, I’m still obligated to finals, but test taking has never made me nervous in the slightest sense.

The kids, I know, enjoyed my real presence in their activities, bringing me their favorite books for me to read out loud to them. We drew new pictures for the refrigerator, and listened to ‘The Wheels On The Bus’ for two hours. (You read right…and I survived.) We made little villages from every toy in the house and then toppled them over, and made them again. The kids appreciated having me back, that they forgot their daily ritual of Sabotaging The Laptop. Everyday, one of them, usually EJ, the preschooler, would run into our room to slam the laptop shut. I have concluded he had perceived my computer to have taken his place for my attention and affections, and by destroying it, would right the imbalance in the house, while simultaneously introducing negative attention (any attention is good attention at this point).

Hubby has been ill today, and we suspect take-out curry chicken to be the culprit. So of course that meant me taking up the slack, which as I’ve been describing wasn’t at all as unpleasant as it sometimes is.

Because I’m struggling to focus on this entry, I’m going to end here, and prepare my To Do lists for tomorrow. As much as I look forward to this part of the night when everyone in the household is asleep, I get tired too.

 

Tuesday’s Observation. December 11, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — eclectopia @ 3:09 pm
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This morning, I am frustrated. I just posted one of my best blogs on my page on MySpace, http://www.myspace.com/eclectopianworld, and not noticing I’d lost my Wi-Fi connection, I clicked to post, and got the dreaded:

Internet Explorer cannot display this page.

I frantically clicked backspace, panicking. Had I been using both sides of my brain, I would have waited patiently until connection was restored, then refreshed. But no, I stupidly clicked everything. Back button, forward button, enter, spacebar…I screwed it up. It’s gone, and I’m mad because it was the sort of critical thinking I hope to display in all of my posts.

Wow, I can’t believe I’m this angry over this. My plan this morning, besides studying for my finals, was to catch up on my blogs and take a nap before kids and hubby came back home. I guess there’s no reason to not do this, but I really am missing that blog.

(You know, with the  sunlight hitting my screen this way, I can see how dusty it is, can I just wipe it clean?)

I mentioned MySpace earlier, and this is my latest accomplishment. A month ago, just to do it, I signed up with MySpace, just to do it.  After I posted a picture, (the same one I posted here, so don’t check) I couldn’t quite figure out what to do from there. I checked out other pages, and I was pretty sure I didn’t want to go with the ‘glitter whore’ layout I’d seen on many pages. (Lol @ glitter whore)

So, I abandoned the page, and by abandoning, I simply mean I ignored the site for so long I’d forgotten my username and password. But, the good people of MySpace were nice enough to email it to me, and last night I tried again.

I was much more successful, by that I mean patient, this time. I learned how to get a free layout at http://www.pyzam.com and while 90% of them were of that glittery whore variety, there were a few really nice ones. I almost panicked when I saw the option to ‘get the code,’ because, WHAT’S A CODE? But that was pretty easy too, a simple cut and paste jobby that took all of 2 minutes. Unfortunately, I have to live with pyzam.com being plastered in all the corners of my page. I have decided this morning, to Google ‘How to write HTML,’ and maybe while I’m on Christmas break, I will learn how to launch my own website. (That made me smile.)

I am on a roll. I’m learning loads of new things. I like this, I like feeling like I’m adding new skills to my life, and figuring out how to adapt them to make my family’s life better. And that makes me feel better about losing my blog post on MySpace.

 

Monday Observations! December 11, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — eclectopia @ 4:26 am

I didn’t get to sleep til three this morning, but I did it. I completed all of my projects, and still got about four hours of sleep. Of course, when I did wake up, at 7:45 a.m., I showered, made the kids’ breakfast, and ironed hubby a shirt–at the same time! I was out the door by 8:15, pretty impressive, considering my eyes were closed the whole time.

 I don’t know what’s up with this Bx19 bus anymore. It used to be so reliable and a pleasure to ride, but now, it just rolls on up to the bus stop, nilly willy, whenever it wants to. Of course, now with so many people waiting, it’s crowded by the time I get on. It would seem to me, everytime the MTA wants to increase fares, transit is running more slow than usual. Then they announce they need the extra money to help speed up service, which they get, then a year or so later, service is slow again, and they need more money from me. Coincidence? I think not!

 I have decided to go to the food stamp office in the morning and act plumb loco. If you’ve been following along, you know my family has applied for food stamps in September. You know that we have never gotten them on the date we were promised, always a week or two later, and we always suffer. Stalker like phone calls to our case worker used to be enough to resolve the issue, but now, I see I’m going to have to show up. I have an outfit planned, right on down to the huge doorknocker earrings. I have become convinced that since my family isn’t real to them, just numbers on a manila file folder, then I need to put a face with that number. Nothing violent, just some drama.

Today is my last day of classes for the Fall semester. I feel so relieved. I have lost my mind a total of 34.2 times since September. I have discovered a few things as well, like, I didn’t NEED to buy all them textbooks. Two of them I use to raise the height of my laptop when I’m typing in bed, like now. Where the others are, who knows, ask the baby. I saw him dragging one to the bathroom a few days ago. Whatever material I learned in class this semester, came from the Internet, and newspapers. College professors seem so obsessed that we be up on current events. Lucky I love to read.

Next semester, instead of five, I registered for four classes. As much as I feel proud of myself for going back to school, a five class load was threatening to break up my household. My children rarely saw my face above the computer screen, and my husband would get annoyed whenever my mind wandered in the middle of his stories.

So to have some time to be home, really be home, with my family, without paranoia that I’m failing just because I’m watching tv for a little while, is fantastic. I’m looking forward to re-decorating the tree (the kids dragged that poor thing down the hallway, causing injury to its little blue jingle balls). So maybe this weekend we will unveil the tree again, this time better than ever with new and improved lights and ornaments. (At their age, it makes no sense to spend more than 99 cents on ornaments.)

I promised myself I would make myself go to bed by midnight, and its almost there, so I’ll post again tomorrow, rested and refreshed, and feeling blogerrific!

 

Spotlight On: Independent Booksellers December 10, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — eclectopia @ 3:30 am
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On December 8th, 2007, I visited Brownstone Books at 409 Lewis Avenue & Decatur Street in the Bedford Stuyvesant section of Brooklyn. It was easy to find from the Utica Avenue train station. It is only a few blocks from Boys & Girls High School, and as we ascended the steps out of the train station (I’d brought my four year old preschooler, Elijah along), it felt great being back in the Brooklyn I grew up in.

            It was a pleasant day. There was no strong wind, and we saw many families strolling Bed-Stuy with scarves loosely tied about their necks, small children running to keep up. I remembered that the neighborhood didn’t seem as inviting when I was in high school, and Fulton Square wasn’t as clean as it is today. There was a nine foot Christmas tree, festively decorated with large red bows at the entrance of the square; Bed-Stuy just feels nicer now.

            As we approached Lewis Avenue, we saw yellow and red banners affixed high on the street lamps, informing us that we were now entering SOLA, the Shops of Lewis Avenue Association. (Visit online at www.shopsoflewisave.com) Because of my research of Brownstone Books (See summary and response essays for Brownstone Books) I knew SOLA was the merchants association Crystal Bobb-Semple helped form with the other businesses surrounding her on Lewis Avenue. Armed with that knowledge, I felt as if I knew the bookstore as intimately as a customer who’s shopped there every weekend.

            When we entered the shop, at once I was grateful there was no bell above the door announcing our arrival. We were not hard to miss in the small 700 sq. foot space. Children, from newborn to 2nd grade sat on the floor near the front of the store listening to a woman reading, Click Clack Moo: Cows That Type by Doreen Cronin. Elijah, my son, shrugged his coat off to the floor as if he were home, and scrambled to a spot next to a pretty little girl with large brown eyes. She smiled at him, and there Elijah sat until she left later with her parents.

            I recognized Ms. Bobb-Semple (Crystal, as she told me later, is the title she prefers) immediately by her long locks and smooth dark complexion. I had seen photographs of her on her website (http://www.brownstonebooks.com), and seeing her in person, none of them were flattering to her. She was not tall, yet her posture reminded me of an Alvin Ailey dancer, straight and graceful. She smiled easily, and when our eyes met, she knew me.

            I felt uncomfortable, at first as I maneuvered around deluxe strollers and into the two small aisles. The anonymity I had become used to in larger stores did not exist here. Despite the labels attached to each bookcase, books seemed to be arranged in no particular order. Though the space was small, there appeared to be a great variety on the shelves. A book about Marvel comic legend Spiderman sat across the aisle from a New York Times bestseller Brother, I’m Dying by Haitian born writer Edwidge Danticat. The décor was pleasant, oak wood worn to a refined patina. An oak antique hutch held about ten CDs, encased in their shrink wrap, available for sale. A low tea table, its three legs embellished with heavily carved scroll work, was draped with a lacey tablecloth; a Tiffany style lamp glowing beside a short stack of leather bound books. The arrangement made me feel like I was in the living room of a good friend, albeit one I didn’t visit as often.

            The woman on the stool was now reading another book, and the children enthusiastically responded to the questions asked.

            “What does everyone want to be when they grow up?” She asked.

            “I want to be a princess!” A little girl shouted. We laughed.

            The group in the store on this day were all mothers, save for one dad who chased his crawling baby around the storyteller. The moms looked to be in their early thirties, slim and Gap chic. These were the moms who know the 101 ways to prepare tofu in the manner that fools their guests into thinking it’s a well seasoned meat dish they’re eating. They seemed friendly, each nodding hello with a bright smile.

            When story time was over, the group stayed for a while, and after careful listening I learned the owner, Crystal, had held a gathering the previous evening for her customers. I also noticed something amazing. In the midst of conversation, and the dressing of children for the running of neighborhood errands, commerce was taking place, though not as obvious as I’m used to seeing it. Cash and books exchanged hands, almost discreetly, in between compliments of the nicely laid buffet table of last night’s party. Recommendations of new books were offered and successfully accepted, then wrapped in small paper bags with the store’s name on it. It was almost like the embarrassment of having to charge your friend for something you would have given her for free.

All in all, I still need time to digest all I learned from visiting Brownstone Books. I’m too tired now.

Please note the photo is borrowed from urbanexchange/typepad. I hope I’ve sufficiently cited it. I’m a newbie…be gentle.

 

Late Saturday Melancholy December 9, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — eclectopia @ 5:54 am
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Ok. So I’m back.

I thought about my last post, for whatever ‘peppiness’ I tried to indoctrinate in that last post, I am lying. I didn’t feel sarcastically funny, or clever about anything. I’m hurting. And when I hurt, I cover it with little anecdotes, clever wordisms, and hurt some more.

This is the real Eclectopia, forget the Eclectic Utopian attitude I tried to convey from my first post.

My husband lost his job in September. He’s been there for ten years, working for a private investment house in Midtown. He wasn’t a trader, he worked in the mailroom, but the mailroom was good to him, good to us. He made a livable wage, plus annual raises, bonuses, holiday bonuses, surplus Christmas baskets. This was the kind of office that celebrated every birthday, real or pretend, like that episode of Girlfriends when Lynn pretended it was her birthday. Her co-workers found her out, but they celebrated her pretend birthday anyway, just for the sugar rush. When one of the kids were sick, they sent cards with everyone’s signature. They sent the nicest basket when Micah was born.

Then, it was all gone. Sudden. Poof. Just like that. I described it recently as the proverbial paycheck which keeps most people from homelessness. Our one proverbial paycheck disappeared. And things went down hill so fast from there.

Our first real issue was rent. Second was food, third was bills. Never mind September I was beginning my first semester back in college since I was 17 years old. Never mind Elijah, our preschooler was beginning school for the first time and we had no money for new clothes, or even secondhand clothes. Never mind Micah is growing faster than we can afford to clothe him. There was, and is, no money. Sometimes I feel, like today, there will never be any money.

We applied for food stamps. Media stereotype would have most people believe it is lazy Blacks and Hispanics on welfare. Stereotype would have you believe we don’t want to work, and we prefer to stay home all day watching Jerry Springer. A lot of people think to themselves, ‘It’s my tax dollars that pay for their laziness.’ For that, they resent us, I think. None of it is true.

I don’t want to go into Black history, or Hispanic pride, or anything like that. We aren’t lazy. We pay our taxes every year, and the federal government chopped up our paycheck just like they do everyone else’s. We’ve contributed to gross domestic product in our own little way, in our own little corner of the Bronx.

I am sad.

Back to the Food Stamps. We applied in September, and we haven’t gotten them at all when they said we would. Every month on the 5th, we look for those Stamps, and they’re never there. Our fridge spends more time empty than it ever has, and it’s painful to be creative with a few potatoes and bread. My children, thank God they are young, and I pray they will not remember this time of struggle when they are older.

I am angry.

I don’t even wanna write about this anymore. This hurts. Dammit, it hurts. I can’t wait til finals are over. It pulls my attention in all different directions. Like now, I’m thinking I should try and work some more on my paper. I’m writing about homeschooling, something I feel passionately about. It’s due tomorrow evening.

I also have to transcribe an interview I conducted today with the owner of Brownstone Books. That’s part of a larger project due Monday. I’m not too worried about this one though. It’s like 80% done.

Then there’s my Power Point presentation for another class. That’s due Monday, and I’ve got to come up with at least three more slides. Then there’s finals. When the semester is finally over, I am gonna kiss my kids, and take them to the movies.

If we can afford it.

Peace,

 

Saturday December 9, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — eclectopia @ 12:10 am
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Hi.

I’m a little tired this evening, well…alot tired. I’ve been up late every night this week working on completing end of the semester projects, and studying for finals. It’s hard struggling to stay awake to study after the kids go to bed when all I want to do is fall down hard myself.

I have to admit studying isn’t all I was doing though…(OMG, I think I’m gonna embarrass myself)

I’ve been up the last few nights watching full episodes of shows on abc.go.com. I can’t resist because we don’t have cable! The only piece of real technology we have in my house is this laptop and my USB. That’s it. Our microwave oven doesn’t even use micro waves anymore, it’s so old. It waves our food. Period. We still watch TV on our heavy boxed model complete with rabbit ears that if moved the right way (hanging off the back of the television just right…) we can get Telemundo and CBS. So when I discovered beautiful crystal clear HD Streaming Video on the laptop, I was hooked. I’ve been up late watching shows I don’t even like! Dancing With The Stars? Don’t really care either way about ‘em, but this last week I must have watched the whole season! My husband asked me, “What the heck are you watching?” When I told him, he just shook his head and got up to reposition the antenna.

To be serious for a moment…

To Mr. Singleton, case worker at my local Food Stamp office:

You’d better pray that the two paychecks that keep you and your family out of poverty don’t disappear like ours did. You’d better pray you won’t need to apply for Food Stamps to keep your family fed while you look for another job at comparative pay. And if you do find your self, for the sake of your children’s empty tummies, on a 60-minute line in a dingy third floor office with a folder stuffed full with an encyclopedia’s worth of personal documents only to be sent away to come the next day for an appointment which you’ll be on time for, but your case worker will be 2-hours late. You’d better pray they won’t promise emergency food stamps in a ridiculously long five days, but it’ll really be eight. You’d better pray that when they promise your Stamps will be wired to on the 5th of every month, that it’ll be there the 5th of every month and not the 11th, the 14th, or not at all.

Mr. Singleton, I wanna hate you so bad, but I can’t. I know you are overwhelmed with hundreds of cases like my family a week. But damn….

Anyway,

I want to talk about the day I had visiting Bed-Stuy’s Brownstone Books (on Lewis Avenue) but not being able to buy groceries today jumped to the top of my list. My next post will be in a few hours, and then you’ll hear all about this wonderful store. In the meantime :www.brownstonebooks.com, check it out.

Hmmm….

 

Snooping Around December 5, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — eclectopia @ 4:50 am
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Still up…snooping around, checking out the neighborhood, looking at blogs…

Every one that I’ve seen is so niiiccceee….

Anyway.

Back to my research paper.

 

Eclectic Utopia December 5, 2007

Filed under: Eclectic — eclectopia @ 3:48 am
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If you’ve ever thought something you’ve done was unique, or special in any way, stay away from Google.

I just googled ‘eclectopia,’ and if there was a way you could type a word with smugness, then I did, just a few minutes ago.

A few days ago, I decided to finally begin ripping some music to my Windows Media Player. Quitting after four CD’s, I decided to name my playlist. It was sometime after dinner, the kids were engaged in independent play (pulling all the toilet paper off the roll), hubby was watching the news, and I felt especially creative. I took one look at the case covers and decided no one in  their right mind would listen to the music I do. (Tye Tribbet, soundtrack from Dreamgirls, Alicia Keys, and Joni Mitchell) In case I lost my laptop, I needed the ‘founder’ to know I wasn’t geeky in any way. Eclectopia. The word literally slipped and fell into my mind. It sounded right, I typed it in, and have never been happier.

Til tonight.

I don’t know what made me do it. Perhaps it’s my secret Google addiction, or that my unusually strong Wi-Fi signal supported such a search, but I typed it in. Man, I was so naive. I cringe now to admit the number of items Mr. Google found and returned to me: 2,580 items! Is your mouth agape, as  mine is? I know!

Who in the world…? How did they…? And finally, how long have they…?

Five years! EclecTopia is a public radio show very popular in West Virginia. According to Wikipedia,  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EclecTopia they play an ‘eclectic’ assortment of contemporary music by underground and up and coming artists.

Great.

Later on tonight, should my Wi-Fi behave, I’ll check out the website, listen to a ‘lil sumthin’ sumthin.’ If I remember, I’ll tell you about it next time.

So now it is up to me, little/big ol’ me, to carve out my own special meaning of the word. Today, eclectopia means the best of variety inside of a digital, hi-deffed, custom colored world. Like Windows! Get it?

Ok. I’ll get better, I promise.

 

 
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